Posted by: New in Every Way | August 22, 2012

Pecking Order

~~  Removing Roadblocks to a Healthy Self  ~~ How Real Life Connects with the Bible

“Nathan was the star of the show, but don’t tell him so. He’s already too conceited.” Have you ever heard a statement like that? Or thought it?

Does a conceited person have true self-esteem? Does a bragger feel good about herself?

A person who truly has self-esteem feels good about herself when she wins a blue ribbon and when she tries hard but doesn’t place. An insecure person has to be the best in order to believe in himself.

That means staying at the top of the pecking order—exalting yourself and putting others down. I have seen many variations of this; for example:

George is a bully. He threatens and harasses others to get them to do what he wants—or just to get their “respect.”

Sharon is an attractive and personable doctor’s wife. She casually mentions all the important people who come to their dinner parties—and their compliments on her home and hospitality. She offers advice to her friends—implying their homes, children, appearance, etc., aren’t as perfect as hers.

Garrett is a strong, benevolent husband and father. He truly cares about his family and delights in helping them with the details of their lives. However, he believes he is the only one in the family who is strong and sensible. He does not encourage his wife or children to do anything without his supervision and control. If they stopped being helpless, he would no longer be the hero of the family.

George, Sharon, and Garrett are propping up their self-esteem by maintaining their “superiority.” They have to be better than everyone else, instead of getting on with who they are—and enjoying it.

Let’s keep talking on Wednesdays about leaving dead-end roads to self-esteem and learning to truly love ourselves.


Making It Personal

  • Do you find yourself needing to believe you are better than others? If so, why do you think you have trouble liking yourself the way you are?
  • If your self-esteem is shaky, does it always have to be that way?
  • How can you show appreciation for a conceited person in a way that builds true self-esteem?

BY THE WAY, one reason the world is so full of people who can’t accept themselves is: 

All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23 NKJV, emphasis added).

But we can have back that glorious life God created us for.

It wasn’t so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. . . . It’s a wonder God didn’t lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ (Epehsians 2:1, 4-5 MSG). 

If you have already become alive in Christ but are still struggling with self-esteem issues, don’t be discouraged! Let’s remove the roadblocks to the fullness of life Christ has given you.


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  1. […] of Pecking Order Colorful Humanoids from “Pecking Order” article on […]

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